At this point in my life, I am basically checking in with you just because I said I was. You all get to see me dig for joy in real life in real time. Nothing polished in any way over here right now.
This past week my husband’s brother died of a two plus year battle with cancer and we had his funeral. His funeral was on my birthday. That was an emotional roller coaster of a week.
This week we are whiplash switching gears and Andrew and Gretchen are getting married.
It’s an odd mix of emotions. I can’t tell you how happy I am, how ecstatic I am, and also…I can’t talk about it all without crying. It’s so weird and so raw and so happy and so thrilling and so all the things.
Yesterday my husband asked me if I was going to do my Joy Post. It’s Joy Post day, after all. But Monday I was just too empty. Drained. I sat in my little chair in the corner that looks out over the back yard and I sipped my coffee and I just quieted myself before God.
Then I heard a scratching.
There, behind my chair, was a little shrew and the cats could hear it but couldn’t see it and it turned into this little fiasco of a morning and I looked up at God and said, “Really? Now?”
And I kind of feel like I keep saying that to Him right now. “Really? This too? Right now?”
It’s major things and it’s right down to minor things that feel major – example, my face broke out terribly and it’s wedding week. Oh come on, God!
So this morning I sunk myself in James. And then I went and flipped over to Psalms.
I thought about my day yesterday. How it was good to sit at home and be quiet for the morning. How I have missed a quiet morning with God and coffee! How my dad came to visit and told me about this true life book he is reading and it was just what I needed him to sit on my porch and talk to me about. How my friend I haven’t seen in forever somehow knew just what I needed and sent over baked goods. How I needed to pray so much and was just saying over and over I need to pray to God and I had no words and a friend stopped over and left me a printed prayer she had read that day and felt she should share. How that night, Andrew came home for dinner unexpectedly and I could pull out my friend’s home made cheesecake and we all could feel spoiled. How I could watch a storm come tearing into the yard and then leave the night with amazing brilliant colors all around.
God keeps showing up. I’d be lost and a wreck without Him giving me all these gifts. I gave you an example of yesterday but my goodness gracious, all this week in so many ways, He just keeps showing up. God keeps showing up and giving me Joy in ways I never ever would have thought they would come. And He so often uses others right now to show me His love.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good. And every day, every single day, He keeps showing up and giving me joy in the everyday.
