Hold on, everyone, I have some words today.

On Thursdays, I am usually at Bible Study.  But today, every school BUT US (or so it feels) had a snow day so Bible Study was cancelled.

We are doing the study You Are The Girl For The Job by Jess Connolly.  I am leading the study and it’s the first time in my entire life I have led a Bible study.  It means I press play on the dvd player and I am the one who says the first thing in the discussion but otherwise, I am doing the study with everyone.  We are all learning together.

But today it was cancelled and last night when I was thinking we would for sure have a snow day, I thought it would be fun to make a little video in front of my fireplace and check in on all my girls.  We could do a pajama check in!  I thought it would be so fun.

Except I didn’t get a snow day.  Well, I got a day I shoveled snow myself while my boys were at school and my friends had a day with their kiddos.

As I shoveled, I thought about the chapter we had just finished on Fear.  That chapter just really got to me.  I purposefully have not written in my book (in hopes to pass it on to my sister for her study) but I could have marked the whole thing up.  The study has been so good for me but this chapter was just, wow.

This past week, this whole month but really this past week, hit me hard with I would like to say 100 thousand things but it was really like ten.  Ten hard things that are all different but are still hitting me hard. Fear is attached to me, anxiety won’t shake off and it’s been a week.

I was thinking of all that as I shoveled and then I thought about how the conversation of this week’s study could have gone.  We are moving past Fear to Vision and I just sort of felt like I needed a good talking to.

What I am about to tell you is what I am preaching to myself.  LOUDLY.

Our pastors have done a study this month on worship. I mentioned it last week on the blog but in case you just want to hear the sermon series, you can head to the church website.

When life seems to be hitting me on every side, when fear seems to be everywhere and my anxiety, which I struggle with, spikes…I know what I need to do.  I just so often struggle to actually DO IT.

Get in the Bible. 

God tells us in James that if we ask for wisdom, He will give it.  The message version says it this way: “If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father.  He loves to help.  You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it.  Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.”

The whole book of James is my GO TO book right now.  It’s a short read, and there is a lot of good packed into it.  Every time I read it, I get reminded of something and I get something new out of it.  The problem is, I often think “I’ll get to my Bible reading after I get dinner started, the laundry swapped and started, etc etc”.

Why do I do that?  Why do I do not do what I know I should do?

Ugh.

Crank the Praise Music.

Another way to worship God and that always always always always (I really want to stress this) helps is cranking the Praise and Worship music.  I am currently on a We The Kingdom kick. Having those truths about God sung over me and by me always helps.  And a song is truth you can carry with you.  God has used music over and over in my life…even music that one wouldn’t think would be from God but TOTALLY spoke to me.  I wrote about it here. I had a post about how a Fall Out Boy song totally spoke to me but I cannot find the post anywhere.  But I basically turned all of that song into My God Can WORK A MIRACLE but I can’t find it.  Just know I did. 

So I was thinking all that and then I thought about this week.  About Vision.

That’s what I would tell you I am most in need of right now.  Voice, Vision, all the things.  So that ALSO spoke to me.  Like all the things happening in life right now and then being super convicted in the Bible Study I am leading….I sort of wanted to shake my snow shovel and say “What more, God?”

I think sometimes we, and I am talking to women but maybe men feel this too, wonder what we are supposed to be doing.  Like, aren’t we supposed to be big on the stage of life doing big things?  Isn’t that what we are called to do?

I think….and I am just rambling a bit here….that there is the people who are big on the stage of life but I think it’s really made up of the small things that we disregard that are huge to others.

This morning, one of the boys’ friends stopped by and plowed a path down my driveway.  I was ecstatic.

After I had done all the shoveling that needed to be done today, I received a card in the mail that I for sure needed today.

I got a text from a friend last night that said, “Look, my daughter drew you and me together” and it melted my heart.

Sometimes you need to know how you look to someone else.  Not for vanity reasons, but as a reminder of who you are when you can’t see it.

Let me explain using my fireplace…

Last night, S3 and I were cuddled up on the furniture talking about our upcoming snow day (that didn’t happen).  Our plan was to get the fire restarted first thing and then have our morning coffee in front of the fire as we lounged in our favorite pajama pants.

But then the snow day didn’t happen and I didn’t feel like starting the fire then.

In order for me to start a fire, I need help.  I need someone (it was my Christmas present from my oldest son) to bring me firewood.  It’s easier if we all help bring in the firewood (which we had done the night before thinking we would have a snow day).

Also, I could have looked at my fireplace and said “it’s not good enough”.  It’s got cracks and it’s dated.  So if I was all self conscious of it, I may not want to start a fire in it.

But it was a fireplace!  It was made FOR A FIRE!

A fire starts with just a tiny spark.  When it’s fed, it grows and when it grows it first warms that person in front of it working on it but when it’s really doing great, it not only warms up the entire living room but rooms throughout the house.  Just because it’s doing what it’s made to do.

I think we loose Vision in ourselves like…like the fireplace.  We think we aren’t pretty enough, or fashionable enough.  We don’t has for help to get started.  We don’t feed ourselves with the Word. And because we don’t do all those things, we are just a cold fireplace no one notices or appreciates when we were born to crank the heat and be gathered around.

It starts little.  It starts with a spark.  In the fireplace the builder built.

How do you find that spark in your life?  I mean, sometimes we don’t see it!  How do we feed it?

And that’s where I bring it all back around to Bible study, to worship.  Sure, it’s in you getting in your Bible every day.  It’s that, no matter what.  But it’s also BIBLE STUDY.  It’s that group you get together who is feeding you too, who is showing you God’s word, who helps you grow.

I implore all of you reading this, find your group.  Find your Bible Study group.  If you don’t like a group, find a new one.  If your church doesn’t have one, find one that does.  Or start one!  You literally need the Bible and some people.  That’s.  It.  Could it get easier?

It’s the next right thing.

I know Emily Freeman made that line popular enough and then Frozen 2 sang about it but literally, do the next right thing.

The right thing may seem so little – like a spark in the fireplace – but it can make a world of difference.  All the little things make a great life.

You just have to start.  You just need to pick up that Bible, ask God to show up and meet you, and open it.

He promises He will show up and I have never known God to ever not do what He promises.  I mean, he has a perfect track record spanning literally thousands of years.

This post is long enough.  But it was all heavy on my heart today and I wanted to share it with you.

Here is the video I ended up doing today…I was hoping to talk five minutes.  I cut it off just shy of 1o minutes and I (obviously, by this post) had more to say.

So those are SOME of my words for the day.  I’d like to hear what you thought, let’s start a conversation on it all!

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