I recently had a near dramatic traumatic experience at our local Goodwill store.  The grief you are about to read about truly happened to yours truly.

S4 (Abe) has hit a growth spirt over the summer and he was devastated to say goodbye to all but two Michigan State T-shirts.  His grief was great.

He wanted me to get him some new ones but since it is completely impossible to even step into his room currently (Summer does this….okay, this regularly happens but in the summer I pretend his messy room doesn’t even exist, which is easy to do since during this past summer he and his brother S3 (Eli) seem to feel the sitting room is their own personal sleeping quarters and not the main gathering place of our home), I offered up a deal.  “Take care of all your laundry and get rid of all your clothes you outgrew and then we can talk.”

He did this.

His room is still unable to be walked into.

But we gathered up the bags of too small clothes and headed to Goodwill where he did not find a suitable Michigan State shirt but some other things he liked.  I told him to try them on to be sure we were making smart purchases.  And since he was trying on clothes, I thought I should see if there were any jeans for me in this upcoming fall season.

In the jeans section I found three, THREE, nearly brand new jeans in my size and I happily headed for the the changing room.

I am an extra long, extra wide leg jeans loving gal.  These jeans make me happy.  I was thinking a slim leg may be a good idea to get however so I could wear my jeans tucked into my boots on the rainy game days I am certain to endure in the very near future.  I have one more tapered leg pair of jeans in my closet and whenever I wear them, JAKE LOVES THEM ON ME.

I was wearing flip flops and I have this thing about floors and bare feet and all, so I was careful to keep my bare feet on top of my flip flops.  Tricky, but totally doable.

As I tried on the slim jeans, I thought they seemed exceptionally tight on my calves.  But isn’t that what they are supposed to be?  Tight equals slim, right?

So I am pulling them on when I realize that this is not going to end well.  And I need to back these things off before it gets much worse.

And that’s when it got tricky.

The jeans were stuck on my legs and I was trying to keep my feet on my flip flops and I was weebling pretty good.  Good in a bad way.

The jeans were clinging to my calves and I could not get them off.  As I tried to pull them off and balance on one leg that was balancing on one flip flip, I felt myself begin to fall.

And all I could think is this is going to be truly traumatic for Abe who I can see now is standing outside the door and while I was worried about my feet touching the floor but the whole bottom half of my naked skin was about to make direct contact with the entire floor.

Please, Dear God, keep this flimsy door shut.

But good news, I caught myself and assured Abe I was just fine and got those blasted skin hugging jeans off and good riddance to them.  I have made the decision that is in my forever best interest to never ever try on slim fitting jeans again.

I’ll keep the extra long, extra wide leg jeans in my closet, thank you very much.

Oh and PS, Abe did find some amazing Under Armor shorts that are dressy.  MY BOY CHOSE DRESSY SHORTS!!!! My boy who ONLY wears athletic shorts 365 days a year.  This nearly makes up for this goodwill experience…nearly, but not quite.

End Notes:

While recording this VERY LONG RECORDING, S4 hopped in to see what in the world I was up to and then S2 had to find where I had gone.  People, I was in the shipsiburban for less than five minutes.  It’s a wonder I can even pee alone now.  Five minutes boys, just give me five minutes.  BUT, as Abe had not heard this story before, him trying to keep it together listening to this is GOLDEN!

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