This is a legit text I sent a friend or three today:
“Isaac (S2) is gone on that fishing trip and they took ALL the worms and then he left saying “Oh, hey Mama, you are going to have to look for worms everyday for my fish.”
I wish I were kidding.
These are the things we do for our kids cuz we love them but this is also the stuff nightmares are made of.
For a week. I have to do this for seven days.”
My boys are gone on a week long fishing trip with their uncle, grandpa and great uncle and some boy cousins. No girls allowed. I was also told “What happens at Fishing Camp stays at Fishing Camp.”
While they are gone, whatever will I do with myself?
Well, I am sure you have picked up by now the glamorous life I lead so you should not be at all shocked I spent the morning and afternoon cleaning the kitchen. I washed cupboards and walls and the the fridge and took down papers and did all the things that are hard to ever get done in a day.
I also went out looking for worms.
So it’s very obvious my boys have left the house. There are no shrieks and yells and all the things. No bikes being pedaled up and down the sidewalk. No “biker gangs” arriving at the door. My driveways are not clogged with pick up trucks. Boats – yes, we now have BOATS in our yard – are missing. No slamming doors. No revved engines as pick up trucks drive by. Just odd silence.
The neighbors notice.
So I am certain they are also noticing that I am going out at various times of the day to look under rocks, logs, anything laying on the ground. The face I must make as I grab worms…
I legit sent this text to Isaac today:
I found five worms and fed them to your fish this morning. Pretty sure I will never get over the horror of the squirmy worms in my hand o the way your fish at the worm so quickly.
He did not respond to this so later I texted him again with…
Just caught for more worms. There was one huge one. Your big fish ate it right away. That worm was curling around my fingers. That was very disturbing. I will have nightmares. Also, I found another worm and it split in half when I grabbed it. This is all asking a lot of me.
He finally responded with:
Love you mother.
I find it oddly ironic that he is gone on a fishing trip to catch and eat fish and I am home feeding his pet fish he is VERY worried about.
He has a whole little fish habitat going on and he cares for these fish like they are dear and rare. He reminded me over and over to not forget to feed his fish. And then they took all the worms the boys had caught with them to catch and eat fish and have left me here babysitting fish and foraging for worms.
This is my life, people. This is what I am doing while my boys are at a lake side cabin on vacation.
But at least my kitchen in clean.