On a walk recently with the world’s cutest puppy ever, Liberty, I realized just how much I am my own personal comedy.
Which is really a gift because I know at any given moment I will be laughing or making someone else laugh.
Take for instance a recent walk with Liberty Lou.
Liberty, my dear puppy who is pushing three years old now, likes to take herself a giant poop on our walk. I carry these lilac scented doggy bags with me. I found them on my go to place, Amazon.
Our Village has a very strict pick up your doggy poo policy and while my husband was apt to ignore it at times, I am ADAMANT. We MUST pick up our doggy poo because I know that if we don’t our Village board will show up at our house and demand we clean up all dog poo or something. I fear not having every bit of dog poo cleaned from the grass.
On this particular day, I pulled out earth rated poo bags and as I pulled the bag out…I realized I had come to the end of the roll and as it was the very last bag on the roll, the glue had stuck to the bag and the bag had RIPPED.
I know had lilac scented poo bag with a big hole in and it was my only bag and I also had a big pile of dog steaming on the ground.
I picked it up the best I could with the bits of bag I had. But then I had no way to wrap up the bag so I just held the nasty stinky poo up in the air as if it were some kind of prize.
“Look! Behold! I have in my hand steaming dog poo! See the steam? Yes! You wish you all could have your hand full of Dog Poo!”
The Village is also very adamant you do not throw the dog poo you pick up in the Village garbage cans. It totally makes sense. We don’t have a lot of garbage in our village and if we all threw dog poo in the cans our town would stink quickly. There is a little Pacific Pride gas station on my walking route and I headed that way to get rid of “my steaming prize”.
Oh! And I forgot to mention I was listening to a pod cast this day. This is very important to the story.
Just imagine me, dog poo high in the air and because I couldn’t find my ear buds, my head is leaned as far over as I can dare keep it so I can hear the pod cast playing in my front coat pocket.
I was a site.
As I came near to the garbage can, my pace hurried to get rid of this all appear “normal” again when I missed noticing the mud puddle had completely iced over.
If one were looking out the insurance building’s windows then, they would have spotted a woman holding dog poo high in the air, beagle dog hurrying toward the pregnant cat that she wanted to be friends with and said woman with a weird bend to her head suddenly fly through the air with her legs doing a weird split look.
I landed still holding the dog poo.
Embarrassed, sore and happy to be rid of the poo, I wondered if I should continue walking or head home.
I noticed a friend was at the Village building and decided I would keep walking after I had washed my hands just in case some poo had gotten on them.
I walked in the office building and hollered to the Village president “I just need the bathroom!”
Then I proceeded to wash my hands with the door wide open. Because I was just washing my hands. But then I realized that looked bad so I hollered, “I just needed to wash my hands! They had dog poo on them! Not that I got any on the door, I just might have had dog poo on my hands! But I cleaned it up!”
I realized I was rambling and should really shut up.
Memories. I am making memories. So years from now they will talk about the crazy lady and her beagle who would walk through town.