My one word for 2017 is Believe.
(Find other the group of people choosing #OneWord365)
I always find it difficult to come up with a new word because I want a new word like FUN or LAUGH or HAPPY. I plan on those being my one word and then I start praying over it. I pray for one word to really be embedded upon my heart. To add to that, my friend Alicia says we should have a verse to go along with it. She is all so much more spiritual than me.
My one word for 2017 is Believe. I couldn’t shake the word.
The verse that kept coming back over and over again was John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.”
Also, this kept dinging around in my head waiting for me to admit I needed to give it listen, Mark 9:24 “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”
I followed this revelation of the word Believe and not one but two verses with “pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease let this year go well.”
Fast forward to March.
Before and through March my husband’s job slowed so much that at one point we had 200 dollars for two weeks for groceries and gas after the bills were paid. And by bills, I mean basic bills. House payment, heat, electric, etc.
Randomly, two people showed up that week with “Here, I can’t fit all this meat in my freezer. Take this! THANK YOU! You taking this meat is SUCH a help to me!”
Because people give away beef regularly. Good one there, God.
We got sick, over and over and over again but not with anything per se terrible, just over and over and over again. Head colds, flu, etc.
Jake, who never gets depressed, was depressed. We found ourselves each in our own personal fog.
We started to feel beat up. We started to turn on each other. It happens in times of stress. And we were under some pretty severe stress.
I was constantly saying over and over “I believe in you, God. I believe that You have this worked out.” On bad days I would begin thinking of all the things to praise God for. When you do that, you find a LOT of reasons. Doing this would remind me over and over to believe God to see us through this storm.
I remember people asking us how things were when the boys were little and we would shrug and I would feel like we were sort of boring and lame because everything would be the same ol same ol.
In less than two years we have this amazing new home, we live in town, we changed churches, our kids joined this thing called Odyssey of the Mind and our LIVES HAVE NEVER BEEN THE SAME, I suddenly realize I will have a SENIOR and he will move out next year (hold me!) and we have my two nephews with us in the evenings and so much has changed!
God hasn’t changed.
Sometimes I find myself wishing I had the same ol same ol going on. But do I? Do I really? It’s been a tough two years but it’s also been two of the best years…oddly. I can honestly say I would much rather be here today then where we were two years ago. MUCH rather.
Two weeks ago a company called my husband on a Friday afternoon and said, “Hey, you want a job? Because if you do, you are hired.”
No interview needed. It was literally a call in the afternoon giving him a job.
At our lowest, God showed up big time.
This week my husband started that new job. Now we’ll have a new company to call his work and new people to get to know, new insurance, we’ll have new normal.
Changing jobs is stressful. It was all the stress I could handle, I can’t deny it. Being real here! On the job change week I looked at our schedule, what we had going on, and (I admit) the money in our account and I told God, “This is it. I can do NO MORE. Help me through this. I’m begging.” Because I had looked at what I could do and came up severely lacking.
The next day my super suburban died. She just had no more get up and go and she tried to start for me, but she didn’t. She is in the shop right now. I stopped to see her today. “How sick is she?” I asked. The mechanic knows me, he didn’t realize how much I loved my faithful suburban that has a bit over 267,000 miles on her. He does now.
“She’s pretty bad,” he told me.
I might have teared up. “But fixable?”
“I’ll have it for you tomorrow. It’s going to be pricey.”
Dear Super Suburban, how I love you but I fear we may have to let you go soon.
I just feel like we are being hit bam! bang! ugh! bam! wait for it….breather…BANG!
Through it all I hear myself saying “I believe, just help my unbelief of how on earth we will ever make it through this moment.”
When we say things like “It’s just a little thing in the scheme of things”, I nod in agreement because I know it’s correct but I can’t help saying, “But it’s the little things that can drown you.”
It’s the little praises to God that lift you up as well.
It’s God who I am relying on right now. Every hour.
I sing this song a lot too.
Except when it comes to “Your praise will ever be on my lips” I pretty much shout it like, “Oh, that’s right! Your praise? It’s totally going to be on my lips NO MATTER WHAT. No matter. Just gonna keep praising! Praise!”
And funny, but not. It’s just God. Again. A friend gave me a devotional this month. Jesus Calling. Anyone read it? Every devo right now is “Trust me.” Like how that Trust Me is today’s devotional, the day I stopped to see my suburban.
I know God is doing something here. I am excited to see what it is! I do kinda wish He would give me a sound track so I know when things are going to get a little easier or to know that, say, my super suburban isn’t going to start. Maybe a “Hey! Here is book two so you know you will make it through book one.”
It amazes me that the stress we are under the joy we keep finding. When you truly Believe God is in control, the change is your life is amazing.
I know who You are, God. And I’ll keep believing in you.
March 31st Friday Devotional by Alli Worthington is pretty spot on with this with a lot less words. Sign up for her devos here.