It’s been awhile since a Coffee With Denise post but today one has been rattling around in my sleepy head all day long.
Our Sunday School class just began a new idea to try. They give us a verse to think on over the week and we get together on Sunday morning to discuss it.
Last weeks verse was Proverbs 3:5&6 which I can rattle off at any moment. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your paths.”
I wrote the passage on a piece of fancy stationary and taped it near my kitchen window. This was going to be the easiest Sunday school lesson to participate in ever.
Except it wasn’t an easy week for me.
I prayed that God would work on me, show me something new about this passage and when I went to reread it aloud I got stuck on the very first word.
Do I trust God?
Sure, I thought, and went to skip on to the passage and could not for anything get past the word trust.
When things make no sense at all, when life is as wonderful as can be, when I am feeling safe and secure do I trust in God or do I trust in my ability?
And you know what, I think I was trusting in myself.
Which may or may not be why I have literally bitten through a part of my lip as I worried and fretted.
I think I may not be alone in this. In this, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” If I am stressed and worried, I am NOT trusting with all my heart.
“And lean not on your own understandings”. Guilty in the furthest degree. Sometimes, okay, a lot of times, I will pray how I feel God should work because IT MAKES SENSE TO ME.
When it doesn’t make sense to me, I worry.
When I worry I am obviously not trusting God.
When I am not trusting God I feel like my life is totally out of control and I am spinning in a circle of trees not sure what way to go next. And there may be flying swooping bats and snakes slithering near my feet.
When I put my trust in God, when I lean on his understanding, He makes my path straight. As in, He guides me. And going over that swamp He just took me through may not have made ANY sense but hey look, I’m safe on the other side and I’m on a sunny beach. Or maybe some place better than a sunny beach.
It doesn’t make any sense at all. None. But when I trust in God somehow it does make sense. More sense than I can imagine.
So all this past week, whenever I began to chew my lip, I would stop and sometimes even say aloud, “God, I’m trusting you.” Sometimes I would even add, “Don’t let me down.” Because I am strong in my faith like that.
I trust He will direct my paths beyond my imagination – and I have a vivid imagination so I know I need to trust Him and His way will be better than all my wild imagining.