I knew moving into town would pose some new problems but I seem to have created a monster of one for myself.
When to wave.
Seriously. This is an issue.
Since this has become an issue for me, I have had this song from my dear friend Buck Howdy stuck in my head “Wiggle Waggle Wave”. (If you haven’t checked out Buck Howdy (aka Steve Vaus) and his talented family’s creativity out, please take a moment to!)
It started out innocently enough.
My friends and I meet at some uncoffeed early hour of the morning to walk. Now, to be fair, they get up WAY earlier than me (by half an hour) so they can run. But I am of the opinion that walking is ever so much nicer. I meet them when they have run their three plus miles and we walk along the road in town.
I have the this amazing knack to never wave at people we know at the moment they drive by. I’ll be walking along and see something that catches my attention (a pine tree growing in a maple tree, perhaps, or to see if the new baby robins have taken flight) and totally miss the friend they were waving at.
This happens at night when Jake and I take Liberty for a walk. I may be looking at the cutest puppy in the world (Liberty, of course) or checking out someone’s front porch or flowers and taking mental notes of what to do in OUR front yard. I admit it, I can be a yard flower stalker.
Jake will say, “Why didn’t you wave? That was so and so!” and my late wave does nothing to stop this.
But if I don’t wave at you, never fear because I totally make up for it by waving at people I am not supposed to wave at.
Case in point: Last week a truck drove by and the cab was crammed with three guys. They waved, I waved back. “What are doing?” my friend croaked.
“They waved,” I shrugged.
“Did you know them?” she asked incredulously.
“No, I thought you did. Jake says I need to be more friendly and wave.”
“Not to a bunch of guys we don’t know!” she squeaked.
So I didn’t wave at the next car that went by. She did. “Why didn’t you wave?” she asked me.
“Who was it?”
“Someone you know from the library, I can’t remember their name.”
Great. So I wave at complete strangers, guys who now think I am a total flirt and not wave at the people I see regularly at the library.
Jake assures me all this is okay(well, not waving at strange men) because everyone in town will soon learn that HE is the nice one and I am the mean one.
Anyhow, I am continually getting everyone’s hello wave all mixed up. Added to that is that I won’t recognize someone when we drive down the road either. The boys know every vehicle headed our way long before they get in waving distance. Do they give me a heads up? Nope. They leave me there looking like the concentrated mean mother driver I appear to be.
I have taken to walking more and more with my eyes averted to the sidewalk. If I don’t make eye contact you can’t say I am mean, right? Maybe I could pull of looking really really sad or in such deep thought of some genius plan that you will understand my not waving. Except, of course, if you know me you know I am no genius nor sad.
When I DO by some miracle know it is YOU and you are driving by ME, I wave with no dignity at all. I will holler at you from the road, “HEY! HOW ARE YOU?!” or “OH MY GOODNESS, YOU LOOK ADORABLE TODAY!” or “I JUST BAKED COOKIES. STOP BY!”
Okay, honestly I haven’t hollered the cookie thing because the boys have been inhaling them but if I COULD yell that, I would.
However, the longer I am writing this, I am thinking back at my friends who I walk with in the morning. Maybe this is some evil plan they have cooked up with Jake to get me to run. They have been tying for forever to get me to run and I keep putting them off because I prefer to not die. I like breathing. I do. And I can’t when I run.
But if I am running I won’t be able to breathe much less wave so that would solve my problems.
Except I would rather appear mean then run. That’s the truth.
(Blast from the past of 2011! Buck Howdy – we know him!)