There, I said it.
Moving sucks the energy out of you. When we first got our amazing new home in town, I would stay up later than I ever had since before boys and clean and tear off wall paper and paint. Then one day my husband moved our beds here. And that day began our month of doing not one thing to the house but going to sleep every night by, oh, around eight thirty.
Moving sucks the creativity out of you. When we first had the dream of this new house, oh! Let the has been silent my whole entire life creative side of me be released! Me, who cannot even do Toddler Crafts at the library was suddenly Miss Creative and nothing could stop me! Except moving. Now it’s hard for me to figure out where to put a mug. A mug. All creativity is sucked from me, moving does that.
Moving sucks away your sunshine. There is this constant never leaving us cloud that follows us wherever we go, whatever we do. Will the farm sell? When will the farm sell? What do we have to do over at the farm house now? Please, dear God, sell the farmhouse!
Moving sucks up your finances. The bank lady assured me we could do this two house thing. And we have been. We are. We will. Is it hard for you to sometimes keep track of your bills? Now imagine every bill doubled. “I just paid the electric bill. Oh, this is the OTHER electric bill.” Also, no office space set up so no dedicated spot for said bills. This is when I begin my arrow begging prayer, “Please, dear God, sell the farmhouse!”
Moving also takes away all that you love. I LOVE to write. But go back to that entire falling asleep at 8:30 thing. We have never been more busy than we are right now and ohhhhhhhhhhh, I miss writing. I miss Mary Kay meetings. I miss beach days with my mom. I miss reading a book in a week.
This will forever be the summer of moving. Do you know what happens when you live in the same home with six people for seventeen years? You collect a lot of crap. And then because you are moving all on your own, you move said crap to your new home and you have boxes everywhere. When you go to take care of those boxes, every single tiny thing is a memory. And you don’t want to throw away a memory! But the more you look at it the more you can’t find a place for it – not to mention you forgot you ever even owned this thing – and you get rid of it only to feel you are throwing away a memory and OH THE EMOTIONAL MESS YOU BECOME!
But more than that…
You pack up a bunch of stuff and you move it to your new home and you have to find a brand new place for EVERYTHING. Every. Single. Little. Everything. And alllllllll day long, every day, every single day, all the whole day long, you get this question: “Hey Mama, do you know where ______ is?” Sometimes I know right where it is. “Toothpicks? Above the oven in the cupboard.” Sometimes they ask me something crazy, “Where is that extra truck antenna we have?” I can see it at the farmhouse but think I can remember moving it here? Nope. Constantly being asked every day all day long where things are – the questions I get when they unload the dishwasher alone! – make me want to bang my head on the wall except I remember that I spent hours upon hours upon hours scraping the wallpaper off that wall and then washing it with a scrub brush with some toxic need gloves and fresh air scrub stuff and then washing the whole wall with bleach before I rinsed it with water so that I could paint it this lovely shade of turquoise. I’ve always wanted a turquoise room and now I have the prettiest house ever. Isn’t this house pretty? I love our new home.
When I have gone to share such things with you, my computer decided it doesn’t know what it wants anymore but it’s pretty sure it wants retirement. It won’t post my photos. It won’t even find my photos. I write a post, it looses it. It freezes, reboots, shows me an empty screen where moments ago were wonderful carved out precious time to write words. I go to drafts and it’s gone. I use this same site at work every day I work, I know what I am doing. Except my computer, how I love her, is tired.
We all are.
Because moving sucks everything out of you. And your computer.
I share all this this with you because it has been brought to my attention that sometimes I am too Suzie Sunshine. Sometimes I am so rose colored glasses that I don’t share everything else. Well, this is my vent.
That said, I like to choose joy. I am so over the top happy to be in our new home! Even last night I laid in bed totally exhausted and I turned to my husband who was even more tired than I was and said, “I love this house. Thanks for buying it.”
Moving. It sucks everything out of you. But when you are empty, all you can do is fill up and grow.
I cannot wait to grow here. I can’t wait to fill up with memories here. I am so excited to see what new adventures await.
I’m just currently sucked dry right now. And I just wanted you all to know.