Recently I was out and about with a bunch of ladies of various ages. I was being totally unlike myself and trying to get conversations rolling. “What do you do?” I asked one young woman sitting beside me.
“I used to work at such and such but now I am just a stay at home mom.”
Just a stay at home mom.
The words struck me to the core. “Just”? How can you say that you are “just” a stay at home mom? You should be declaring it from the rooftops. How blessed and special this time is!
This is also the moment that I realized how old I have become. It sorta just snuck up and then slapped sense into me. Hard and brutally.
I miss so much those days when all the boys were home, when we all had pajama Monday and kisses made owies better. When I had no sleep and the only adult I had communication was with my husband and maybe a frantic phone call to my mom. I miss the snuggles and the hugs. I miss sports being only known as a game outdoors. I miss knowing every bit about every one of my boys and that their idea of a great day meant they played in the sandbox all day.
I miss those days that were just, what, yesterday?
Don’t get me wrong here. I love the stage my boys are at now. Although S1 going around boasting that he is 14 and 9 and a half months isn’t doing much for making me feel awesome…I am totally not old enough nor prepared enough for him to begin driver’s training.
But life is insanely busy. I have practices on evenings and a job that I love at a library three days a week and numerous hours at my second job as a Mary Kay Consultant and just around the corner is farming season.
When they were little, in the midst of all the insaneness and (honestly) really awful tough lonely days, I still knew I was blessed to have a husband who worked so hard so we could be home together. I knew that the sacrifices we made were going to be forgotten later and replaced with the happy memories of the time and not so much the sacrifice. I know that my looking back on it all is going to have more than a bit of a rose colored glass tint to it all.
But I am so thankful for the time.
Don’t make excuses for being a stay at home mom. It’s not a “just” job, it’s THE job. If I could be home right now with my boys every day, I would. If I could blink myself back to snuggles and kisses, I would.
And now I am all teary eyed.
Parenting is tough in every single way. Working out of the home is tougher than we want to admit. Being a parent is second guessing every decision we make. Every. Single. One.
But it’s worth it.
I have little time left with my boys. S1 is getting that license soon and heaven help me, I’ll be a basket case and white haired all at the same time. But that’s the beginning. Our little family nucleus is changing again. They are growing up. And growth is wonderful. It is!!! I love to see the men they are becoming and I don’t want them to be stuck in childhood forever. We have a ton of fun together at this stage. But it is also painful. Change always is painful somehow.
So you stay at home moms….you are blessed. Don’t ever forget it. Don’t doubt it. It’s tough, this stage you are in. But it is also wonderful. And it passes so quickly. The days are forever long, the years are a blink short.
There is time enough when you get your “freedom” and start working at some of your own passions. And don’t get me wrong, when that day arrives it is FUN and you appreciate it all the more, I think. But this precious time with your children, this thankless stretch of your life…you will look back and realize it was some of the very very very best times of your life.
Don’t forget it.